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Michael Killan
30 June 2006 @ 08:44 am
I'm stunned to discover that I haven't updated my journal since December. Half a year has literally flown by without a single entry.

While I've been busy sorting out my life and discovering exactly how tied I am to my spiritual needs, things appear to have been changing here at LJ. It looks as if I need to spend several hours trying to read and catch up.

Yes, I still long to be involved with various communities. I'd like to spend time on my art and in some way incorporate that effort into my journal. Not sure how, though. My previous artistic flair went into icons to some degree. That's about it.

I have spent some time reading blogs during 2006, though not here at LiveJournal. But I have become more familiar with the use of blogging as a communication tool. It's interesting to see how many political forces have gone into blogging!

I've never seemed to be able to quite make the transformation -- bringing my writing online. I've been willingly writing all my life, certainly. Yet somehow I don't seem to bring those many thoughts and observations to my own blog. (Funny how I've never even thought about my journal here as a blog, or writing in it as blogging. It's interesting that my research away from LJ has changed my perspective.)

Actually, time has gotten away from me this year. Though I've been involved in reasonable introspection, I haven't managed to reflect on my personal journey through writing. Not even writing of the non-blogging variety.

I feel as if it's finally time for me to make an effort here, as I'd planned back in December of 2005. Being on line has gained me some interesting friendships and interactions that I sincerely value.

For those who have asked, I have indeed continued a pattern of prayer as part of my lifestyle. This isn't strictly a case of not being able to teach an old dog new tricks. (Humor intentional, yes.) For me things simple flow better if I maintain a schedule that includes prayer.

I really need to expand on what I mean, for those who might be interested. (Or just for my own benefit, perhaps.) For the record, I've always favored structured prayer, rather than any loose-form meditation methods. Meditative prayer certainly should not be confused with meditation -- and decidedly not with meditation as practiced in Western society!

But don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to the practice of meditation in whatever form. My questions circle around whether or not meditation is being used as a spiritual expression and action, as opposed to a non-spiritual one. (I've encountered quite a few people who meditate, yet are strongly anti-religious, for example.)

And in speaking of being anti-religious, I remain surprised by the extent men (by which I mean mankind) will go to in opposition to any given tenet. Is it really that much easier to damn a thing than to attempt to find something worthwhile to be in favor of? This might be worth exploring at greater length in another entry...
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Michael Killan
30 June 2006 @ 09:27 am
Well, I just decided to check over my own journal, and in doing so I discovered that back in November of 2005 I had made ten entries -- all on one day -- that were empty. (Well, they contained x's, apparently designed as placeholders.) Talk about feeling odd as I stared at these...

At first I couldn't imagine why I'd have done such a strange thing. Then I recalled that I'd planned to use each of these entries as a place to put up various links. You see, at that time I had a free account, which only allowed me to add five links to my journal. So doing this was basically a way around that restriction. (At the time I was also experimenting with ways to make navigation at LJ both easier and better.)

It no longer matters actually. I recently decided I'd make my blog the advertisement version here at LJ. (In fact, changing to that may be one of the only things I've done here during 2006.) Anyway, the change means I'm not limited to five links. (Though I'm not certain if there is some other limitation on the amount of links I can add.)

But it was still odd to come across ten entries that were full of x's and nothing more. Considering my mindset at that time, I had to briefly wonder if I'd done this as some odd emotional outlet. (Yes, I find that amusing.)

For the record, I don't really post much here that isn't available to all of my friends -- or that's entirely public.

So if you happen to see that I've posted on any given day, yet you can't read an entry, it probably means I was testing something that I wanted to post to one of my communities. This means I made a private post that only I could see, so that I could make sure an entry was displaying correctly before putting it at the community in question. (Do others do this, too? I guess I'm curious...)

Obviously I should delete such entries, but I don't always remember to do so. (I just came across one for l_j_for_dummies that had me confused for a moment -- until I remembered why I'd posted it inside my own journal.)

On another note, it's been my job to manage the 'dummy_maintain' (dummy_maintain) account, meant to be used by all of the maintainers at l_j_for_dummies. The problem is that I so infrequently even check my own email, so I'm terrible about checking the email for that account! I just discovered that Yahoo had made the account 'inactive.' (By the way, when you reactivate an Yahoo email, why do you have to go through the process twice? I'm rather annoyed by the redundancy. And as I'm always letting my account go inactive, I'm pretty familiar with this petty annoyance.)

Maybe I should put another maintainer in charge of the email account...

Back to investigating my blog, I guess. (I wonder what other interesting and confusing things I'll discover?)
Mood: amusedamused